Earlier this week I was in the car driving and muttering under my breath. It would be an understatement to say I was grumpy. Everything that fell under my gaze was dull, irritating or aggravating.
Have you ever had days like this? It’s when I lurch from anger to irritation to frustration. At times like this I feel sorry for myself and believe that no-one appreciates me.
When I’m in the middle of a foul mood I thankfully know not to take it seriously. Even though I look around to find blame (Stu, the dog, the house, my bank statement) there is a deeper truth at work. This deeper truth knows the mood will pass. My aggravated feelings are a warning light telling me to proceed with caution. When I feel like this big decisions and important conversations are put on hold!
Moods, emotions and thoughts are by their nature transitory. If you’ve ever watched clouds in the sky you’ll know what I mean. Have you noticed how clouds are constantly creating new shapes as they move on by. It is exactly the same with thoughts and emotions.
One of the most useful things I’ve learned (thanks to the 3Ps) is to observe my thoughts with curiosity, rather than get sucked into believing what they seem to be telling me. Like the clouds thought will take new form, there’s nothing I have to do to make it happen.
It happened on the day I was feeling so grumpy. Whilst walking along through the woods I was suddenly captivated by the changing season. The leaves were falling, autumn was creeping up and the tree colours were on the turn.
I suddenly noticed my mood had shifted and I smiled to myself. The previous (grumpy) cloud had passed on through and a new cloud was forming. From this space I knew that I was now seeing the world in a more balanced, insightful way and this was good to know. All the things that had previously seemed to make me unhappy (Stu, the dog, my bank balance) didn’t register at all. They weren’t a problem – but if they were this was the space in which to deal/tackle them.
My coaching looks very different now. I’m helping clients to understand the transitory nature of thought. We no longer get to work on changing thoughts or trying to generate more positive moods. It’s not necessary.
I’ve noticed that when we become fascinated at the capacity and potential of thought there’s an interesting side effect. We naturally discover our internal stillness, fresh insightful thinking emerges and we connect more fully with our innate internal wisdom.
This is what I want to share with my clients and this is how I am developing my coaching.
Liz and Stu
P.S. If this kind of coaching appeals to you then why not check out Jamie Smart’s Clarity Coach Training course? After a recent coaching session with Jamie I realised the extraordinary power of this kind of coaching. I remember thinking part way through the session ‘this is how I want to support my clients’ (you can check out the session here
). I’ve booked to go onto Jamie’s programme (starting in September) and I know there are still spaces available for Sept 2016. If you’d like to learn more then why not have a chat with Jamie’s business partner Nikki. Email me firstname.lastname@example.org and I’l put you in touch.
Nikki will then get back to you to answer any questions. Who knows I might see you there! (Please note this is an affiliate relationship)
P.P.S . I took Stu out on a Dartmoor walk at the weekend and recorded our musings about thought. You can listen in on Soundcloud
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About Liz Scott & Stuart Newberry
Liz Scott & Stu Newberry are Coaching Skills trainers and 3P practitioners. They help develop coaching cultures within schools and organisations. Liz & Stu use their understanding of the 3Ps within their training and are experiencing great successes and results in the organisations they are working in. Download an Introduction to the Three Principles here.
Want to de-stress in just 28 days? Recharge on the Run is a FREE audio series (delivered to your inbox daily) that will help you discover your inner peace of mind. Find out more about Liz & Stu at Liz Scott Coaching and Training